Where to go next

While I am the worship leader at my church, i'm also the "leader" of the young adult group (frankly, sometimes it seems i get leadership by default). And i've been wondering where to go next. How do i help peers grow? I guess if i felt i had an answer i wouldn't be posting this. Maybe if people read this, feedback would help :). It was mentioned to me that maybe we should do more service-0riented projects, but it was also mentioned that more teaching is good too. I don't know what to do.

I've reached this point in my spiritual journey where i see how flawed i am, and it bugs me. It's one of those "i've always known" things, but it's just becoming more and more evident now. I don't feel i'm equipped to lead others when i'm not always making great decisions myself. Do i see that i have talent? Yes. I'm not trying to brag or anything, I just have done a bunch of different personality tests and searching and i know where my strenghts lie and frankly they all lie in leadership. so back to my original question: where now?

I believe I need to be more authentic. living life and saying what it is. defining where i stand, not just hinting at it. maybe that's what our group needs too. maybe we need definition. maybe we need a place to come once a week and pour out our souls in worship and confession. maybe we don't need that. maybe i should stop saying maybe so often.

people saying writing things out is easier to organize their thoughts... not me. I write and how it comes out is how it stays, i want my writing to be like a conversation. is it right to lay it all out online though? for the world to see? would a conversation with you be better than you reading my disorganized thought pattern? or is this a great way to talk to the world and have them talk back? who knows.

God, make my life real to me and to others. Give me the courage to be a bright light, not one that people see in a distance. Give me the wisdom to lead. Give me the patience to allow myself and others to fail and then grow together and learn from it. Give me humility, because frankly, i've been feeling like it's my show, and it's so far from that. Teach me true worship day in and day out.